July Odd Jobs

July 31 - Now this is a cool job. You could save lives and stuff. Just think you could be someone's hero. Racing through the streets on a mission to save a life. Heck I might even apply.

As far as the reliability being a must thing, well Duh!

DRIVER FOR TRANSPLANT TEAM

Blah City based transplant team looking for small van driver with excellent driving record. (Van provided.) Must be able to respond to Blah area within 30 minutes. Full-time work, 10 days off per month, base on-call salary plus extra pay when you drive. Ideal for night owls, reliability a must. Average earnings 30K+/yr. Medical benefits.

July 30 - Headed for Amsterdam? This job's for you. As always the misspelling is the poster's.

Driver wanted

Driver wanted - anybody travelling to Netherlands/Amsterdam in the quite near future and able to carry 2 chairs and a table - all very light - chairs stacking - prepared to pay reasonable amount

July 29 -I guess I understand why you have to have a really good smile to get this job, but why do you have to be 'very attractive'? Lots of less attractive people have nice smiles. By the way I hope this person's smile is better than their spelling abilities - obviously the misspelling is not mine. Oh and you have to wear a cap. What like Little Bo Peep?

High Energy Sampling Spokes Model

Job requirements: This is a promotion to hand out a lot of toothpaste samples quickly at movie theaters. I need only the most energetic and organized folks. You must be very attractive and outgoing and have an amazing smile and great attitude. Promotion experieince is a must. The details are below.

The uniform: You will wear very nice black pants (NO JEANS) with a belt. The client will provide a t-shirt that will be picked up at the theater. The shirt must stay tucked in and neat (no rolling of sleeves, etc.) Wear cute but comfortable BLACK shoes. The client will probably provide a cap.

July 28 - This ad was really long so I cut it down a bit, but this looks like kind of a cool job. You could be the head of security for an actual art museum. The only drawbacks I can see is that it could be dangerous if you came up against any super smart art thieves (who if movies have taught me anything - and I think they have- will have snooty English accents) Also you might not get tons of respect because the only time they show museum security people on TV is when they're being outsmarted by the snooty English thieves mentioned above.

MUSEUM SECURITY SUPERVISOR

The Blah Blah Museum is seeking a provisional appointee to a permanent position in class 8228 Museum Security Supervisor. (Note: A provisional appointee must successfully pass a Civil Service Examination in this class in order to be considered for a permanent appointment.)

EXAMPLES OF DUTIES

Supervises the line security operations of the museum in the protection of the facilities, collections, visitors and staff from theft, fire, injury, and other damage; insures the maintenance of a safe, welcoming, and professional environment for visitors and staff. Assists guards in securing museum exhibits and facilities, including standing museum guard post as needed; directs and supervises the emergency evacuation of the building when required; and performs a variety of related duties as assigned.
At unexpected and unscheduled times, incumbents may have to respond to emergencies or alarms and in those cases strenuous physical activity may be required.

July 25 - This is pretty much what the whole odd jobs thing is. I want someone to do everything. Not only that, you're expected to be punctual AND nice. Yeah they'll find someone. But come on, a resume AND Checkable References. You mean they would actually call my references. Well in that case, never mind.

Jill of All Trades Wanted

I am a fine art photographer searching for a right arm woman to help me with the following:

* Household/office organization

* Running errands with your own car

* Gardening and watering

* Photography assistant (a PLUS but not required)

* Plus an ability to manage whatever comes up

8-10 per week position paying $12-15. per hour
If you are punctual, reliable, extremely helpful and resourceful, have your own car, a non-smoker, enjoyable, kind, and flexible please send 2 checkable work references and a resume. Thanks

July 24 - This would be a cool job. I wonder if you get first dibs on the junk, uh, I mean donations, people give away. I knew this guy once who used to ride his bike home past this thrift store late at night and go through the donation stuff people had left on the sidewalk.

Donations Driver

Donations Dept. needs fulltime Driver to pick up donated goods. Must have the ability to read a map, lift 50 lbs. and have customer service skills. Must provide a clean DMV record. Starting salary $11.00 hr plus full benefits. Experience preferred. To apply send resume and DMV report.

July 23 - Here's a job that even I could do. Sure I'll tear the sleeves off your old T-Shirts that'll be $5.00 please. Why not just buy something new and hip and funky with the money? Maybe she wants to help the economy, you know that whole creating jobs thing.

Looking for Someone to Deconstruct my Old T-Shirts!

I am looking for someone to either deconstruct a few old tee-shirts I have to make them into funky, tube top or tie shirts OR to show me how to do it myself. I have a sewing machine and all materials, but haven't sewn in years. You will pick up shirts and then drop them off whenever they are finished. We can meet in either Manhattan or Brooklyn. Perfect for an FIT or design student. Please email me with interest and your running rate for a job of this type. Thanks!

Compensation: Negotiable

July 22 - Ok so this is another focus group and not a real job, but when I saw this I couldn't resist. I mean come on someone's gonna pay $100 for two hours just because your parents randomly picked out one particular name. (misspellings and weird use of caps is theirs)

FoCUS GRoUP: For People named Joe

Email me your full name, contact number, profesion, ethnicity
Date: 7/31/03 ALL DAY
ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!

Compensation: $100 2 hrs

July 21 - This isn't really a job, but when you're out of work any way to make money right. This kind of annoys me though for two reasons. One, it's a slap in the face to broke single people everywhere. And two, it would probably cost more than $25 to get most men to sit in a room for two hours and talk about their relationship. Unless there was beer involved I guess. And three, (yes I know I said there were only two but what are you gonna do, sue me?) I think the two people have to split the $25.

SEEKING COUPLES WHO ARE DATING EXCLUSIVELY

The Psychology Department at Break Up U is currently recruiting couples who dating exclusively for participation in a two-hour study. A participating couple will receive $25 and learn general relationship information. For more information about the study, please e-mail

18 - I didn't know you could even get a job doing this anymore. I think that would be cool. I would totally do this except I have two left feet and so, consequently, no experience whatsoever. Oh wait you don't need experience. If only I were coordinated at all.

Do you love to dance? Do you enjoy working with people? Blah Blah dance studio is now taking applications for a FT instructor. Training is part-time. Learn to swing, salsa, country western, ballroom, and more. No previous experience necessary. Join us for an applicant trial group class and interview. Dress is professional. Must be available afternoons and evenings M-F for position. Email your name to reserve your spot

July 17 - Why do they need a picture for this job? Are they only interested in the opinions of attractive people, or are they just looking for a date? Maybe they think the ugly people won't have enough dating experience. (misspelling is theirs)

Blah Blah research is conducting a cosumer research study for a publishing client. We are interested in interviewing single women aged 25 - 35 in regard to dating, relationships and sexuality. Two hour interviews can only be conducted Monday - Friday, 8:30 AM - 5:00 PM (NO EXCEPTIONS). Participant must be in good physical health, articulate and open minded. No resumes please. Please send photographs in GIF or JPEG format only.

Compensation: $125

July 16 - Wanted someone to wander from bar to bar giving drunken slobs crappy merchandise. Oh and you should also flirt with them and convince them that brand X is the best. Oh and we'll pay you 22 bucks an hour. (The misspelling is theirs)

Alcohol Girls and Promo Girls

We are looking for attractive new girls of all ethnicities, ages 21 and up, for upcoming alcohol and liquor promotions. You must be very outgoing, personable, professional, and love interracting with people who love to party ! Girls will be distributing free goodies at night clubs, bars, and restaurants and will have a pretty flexible schedule. This is a great way to make extra $$$, college students encouraged to apply.
The pay rate will be from $22-$30 per hour.

July 15 - Can you imagine sitting around waiting for some horrible disaster to happen so you can work. Talk about the guilt. While the rest of the world is hoping bad things won't happen you've got your fingers crossed they will. Now that's asking for some bad karma.

DISASTER HOUSING
INSPECTOR

The Hurricane season is here! And an Earthquake can come at any time! Help us do contract, on-call inspections in Presidentially declared disasters. If you have a flexible schedule, seasonal job, or retired, and experienced in the building trades, property inspections, or real estate, register on-line

July 14 - Umm I don't know about this. I mean $30 to take a video of your feet and he never actually says what he'll use the video for. Money is money I guess, but I think I'd pass on this.

Foot Models needed

Hi. I am a nail artist & reflexologist looking for foot models who would like to have free nail art pedicures & reflexology/foot massage and waxing if needed. I am also offering $30 per half-hour video shoot session. If this is an arrangement you would be interested in, I would love to hear from you.

July 13 - One day when I called the temp agency to check in they offered me a job standing on the side of the freeway for eight hours (four hours in the morning and four at night) counting the cars that went by. I thought they had some fancy gadget for that. Apparently that gadget was me. Sadly I had a time conflict and was forced to turn down their offer.

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