September Odd Jobs

September 30 - OK I've had a job like this before. They say you're going to update their records, but strangely none of the companies you call has ever heard of them. So I don't know if this is really true of this company, but I've had this sort of thing happen to me in temp jobs more times than I can count.

September 29 - I'm lactose intolerant, I wonder if that would disqualify me for this job?

Milk Plant Supervisor

Dairy Inc. is looking for Sanitation and Dock Supervisors at our Milk plant. Must have a minimum of 5 years supervisory experience in production / warehouse environment. Union experience a plus. Must have strong leadership & communication skills with knowledge of GMP’s & OSHA regs. BS in Food Science or Management preferred. Salary commensurate w/ experience. Must pass pre-employment phys & drug screen.

September 26 - I'm not sure what twenty quid is but it costs an awful lot to print up really big documents. I mean the ink and the paper and then the transportation costs. It hardly seems worth it. Ya know?

Drop Off Package in Central London

Print out my dissertation and drop off at a specific location. I'm in states and unable to do so. I will send via email. If interested please respond to email. Include your number and I'll contact you to make the necessary arrangements. Thanks.

Compensation: 10-20 Quid

September 25 - You get to see the world or maybe just the tri-city area, but you can probably survive on the free food you can sneak. Misspellings were not mine. 

Roadshows and Food Demonstrations

Must Have Vehicle to travel to diffrent location each week.4-5 days a week.
Must be able to handle responsibilities of working alone.
The Job: Preparing Food Samples, While entertaining crowds of people, and giving information about the product you are sampling. We are looking for outgoing people friendly associates.

Compensation: 90 a day ....4 days availability

September 24 - I'm sure it's fine, but something about this job just sounds a bit too good to be true. Ya know? Oh and I think they mean charged.

Easy job for a few hours

Spend a few hours getting a few pages of information in the County Administration Office - and then FAX it to us. Easy to do - just ask the clerk for it, and wait until they give it to you. We will pay you $100 plus the $1 a page charded by the county, plus the FAX cost. 

Thanks

September 23 - I can speak English and Pig Latin do you think that would qualify me?

Professional tour guide

Profession tour guide needed for Friday only. Must have knowledge of the area. Bilingual is a must.

Compensation: $18 per hour

September 22 - How about a psychologist that talks about how to avoid dating losers who suck your will to live. Now that's a lecture single people would go to in droves. Maybe a few attached people too.

 If I was in the place this job is posted for I would totally apply to be a guest speaker and then tell people as many dating/relationship horror stories as I could in the allotted time and then start crying and run out of the room. I think that'd be funny, but then I have a weird sense of humor.

Hosts/Instructors for Singles Events

I am starting a new statewide singles network. I am looking for people who can either host an event or lead the event. Qualifications might include:

- teaching a skill (e.g. dance lessons)
- leading an event (e.g. hiking, softball)
- guest speakers (e.g. psychologists on overcoming dating fear)

If you are interested, please contact me with your idea and availability. Nights and weekends imperative. Thanks!

September 19 - I don't understand why they need two people for this. I mean is the driver they have really antisocial or something so they have to hire a nice person to ride with them. 

Delivery Support – Café Culture – Fresh Air

Looking for street smart, friendly and motivated individuals to act as ride along representative for deliveries and customer service representatives for an extensive network of restaurants/cafes.

If you hate the desk job, love to be outside, enjoy being on a winning team, embrace café culture then this is the job for you!

You will do no driving - the average day would involve meeting with your assigned driver and going café to café within our network to ensure adequate product is available, and is being used appropriately. This will involve lifting up to 25 lb boxes, so you should be comfortable with this aspect. This is not a sales position, service only.

September 18 - I always thought vending machines were filled late at night by little elves. I guess growing up is really about being constantly disappointed by reality. 

September 17 - Okay, I picked today's odd job for two reasons, 1) I had no idea at all what a Klezmer band was so I had to look it up. I could tell you what it means, but that's too easy, so look it up if you care. I mean it's not that exciting. I don't know why they couldn't just explain the type of music although I guess a Klezmer band would know that's what they are. Maybe everybody but me knows what that means. Anyway and 2) This guy wrote his entire ad in caps. I mean has he ever actually been on the internet before? Doesn't he know that means yelling? No one wants to work someone who yells at them before they even get the job. Whatever.

KLEZMER BAND WANTED

UNIQUE COMPANY IS HAVING AN ANNIVERSARY PARTY WITH CLIENTS, FRIENDS, AND REVELERS. 150+ INVITE.
LONG NARROW INDUSTRIAL SPACE.

WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SMART, SPIRITED, SENSITIVE, AND EXPRESSIVE KLEZMER BAND WITH GOOD MUSICIANSHIP AND A LARGE REPERTOIRE. BAND MUST BE ABLE TO READ THE PARTY TO PLAY ROMANTIC VS. DANCE NUMBERS. PREFER TRADITIONAL OLD-SCHOOL SCALES AND VIRTUOSITY THAT COMES FROM THE HEART MIXED WITH CONTEMPORARY AMBITIONS AND SURPRISES.

Compensation: TBD

September 16 - I think my problem is that I don't have enough obscure skills. Well I probably have enough obscure skills, just not the right ones to get me any kind of a totally random job. Since compensation for this one is based on the amount of time the job takes, if I were the person who got this job I would do it very very slowly.

Wanted: someone to repair 50s style casement windows.

I recently bought a house built in 1953 that has casement windows throughout. Two of the windows were altered to put in (non-casement style) window ac units at some point. I would like to repair these two windows to more or less match the rest of the casement windows in my house. If you have experience with repairing this type of window, please contact me.

Compensation: TBD based on the amount of time required for the job.

September 15 - I wish I could juggle. There seem to be way more job openings requiring that particular skill than for my actual  job skills. The really odd thing is the whole pay depends on experience. I mean you can either juggle or you can't.

Do you juggle?

We are looking for an experienced juggler for an early October event. Our ideal juggler should be able to juggle several different items really well, as well as be able to have fun with a crowd at the same time. It's super important that you have an outgoing personality and great sense of humor to work the 25-35 guests at the party.

If this sounds like you, please email us with your experience (including any references) and a flat rate for a 30 minute and 60 minute performance. We haven't yet decided how long we'll need you, so we'd like your rate for both.

Thanks!

Compensation: Negotiable...depending on experience

September 12 - Umm so many things to say. First this guy wants you to answer his phones at your house. Uh sure whatever. It might be sort of okay if he was paying for  you to get a second phone line, but to  answer your phone with his business name! What if someone calls for you? Are you allowed to be on the phone at all? Then the guy wants you to always be home from 9-2 this might not be so bad except that he wants to pay you $15 a week for this. Yeah I'm sure that's what he's paying for it now. Who's doing it, his mom?

Answer my phone at your house

If you are home between the hours of 9 a.m. and 2 p.m. Monday through Friday, can answer your phone with my business name and take messages you will send to me via email, I will pay you what I'm paying my service now. I will forward my calls to your telephone number. All I ask is that you speak fluent English, ask for verification of spelling for names and post by 2 p.m. everyday.

Compensation: $15 per week

September 11 - This job ad is funny to me because of the almost total lack of qualifications required for the job. I assume when they say huge they mean huge and muscley, not obese. Although they do give you free food, so who knows.

huuuge guy for doorman position

please email resume and attach a picture if possible.

Compensation: $100-150 per night +free food

September 10 - This job isn't so much odd as just plain stupid. I say this because I just spent a week scraping popcorn off a ceiling and re-plastering it. Talk about a nightmare job. Maybe I should send them an email. I mean popcorn looks all gross after a while, and it traps cobwebs. Oh well, I guess we all have to make our own mistakes.

acoustic ceiling

I need someone to spray new acoustic popcorn material onto a ceiling of a small bedroom. Just one room, and we will move all furniture and cover the walls and floor. Just walk in, set up your stuff, and spray the ceiling. Let me know how much you'll charge and we'll try to make a deal!

September  9 - Now this would be the perfect job for a vampire, except that I think the work hours are during the day. Oh and a vampire might have trouble passing the background check.

Courier - Blood Bank Region

Join a life saving team!

Drive Blood Services van/truck to pick-up, deliver blood products and other materials in accordance with an assigned route or on an as needed basis. Perform additional transport or loading duties to support the blank region. Includes some stocking and inventory management.

This is a full-time, regular day-shift position and includes full benefit package. Starting hourly rate is $12.00. 

Requirements:
Previous experience with a messenger service or trucking company desired.
Must have valid drivers license and clean DMV record.
Ability to lift up to 50 lbs and to push/pull loads in excess of 100 pounds. High school diploma or equivalent.
Stock/inventory experience and basic computer skills preferred.

Only qualified applicants will be contacted. A background check and pre-employment drug screen will be conducted on selected applicant.

September 8 - Now this is the perfect job for someone like me who's desperate for vacation.

90' Motoryacht Looking for crew - to the Caribbean

Currently seeking a deckhand for 90' motor yacht.

Prefer female with strong mechanical abilities, good work ethic and easy going attitude.

No prior yachting experience necessary, but is helpful. This is a private charter yacht with owners on board 80% of the time and we don't do charter work. Relaxed atmosphere and cool people. Definitely hard work involved but all with fun in mind.

Duties include:
Cleaning the boat, fixing the boat, helping out with everything. Mechanical abilities are very helpful in this job, but if you learn quickly you should have no trouble.

Crew consists of a captain (me) and a hostess who handles the interior and domestic chores. We all live on the boat together so we need someone who is tidy and easy going.
Two owners, husband and wife in their 40's. Great people!

Pay is OK, but the opportunities to travel and explore amazing parts of the world is great compensation. We are leaving Vancouver in October for Costa Rica, Panama and the Caribbean, and will be conducting one-on-one interviews in the coming weeks.

Expenses are covered by the boat (food and such), so a great opportunity to make and save some money while traveling the world.

Please reply with your resume, (any resume will do) and a basic description of yourself. Photos accepted but not required.
Thank you Craigslist!
Your captain

September 5 - I picked today's because it's the first odd job ad I've seen that actually acknowledges the fact that the job may be a bit on the strange side.

Media company is looking for someone to do an odd job..... find recent editions of area Yellow Pages and get PAID!

Requirements:

1. Please send a digital image of the cover.
2. Must be a recent edition.
3. Must be Yellow Pages only.

We will compensate $20 for the book and will cover the overnight shipping fees.

It sounds like a weird task, but this is for real.

I look forward to hearing from you.

September 4 - I always thought that the people in those crowds were real supporters. They're just people who want to earn $8.00 an hour. My faith in the whole system is now shaken. One more reason why people should vote for me instead I suppose. (Okay I admit it, that was a cheap campaign plug.)

 The extremely bad grammar is the posters'. 

Campaign Worker/Actors for Documentary

September 3 - I love buying presents and picking stuff out so this might be a really cool job. On the other hand, the ad is really vague so it could turn out to be a real nightmare.  Besides, how many people have 'Extensive' experience in 'Corporate Gifting relating to the Entertainment Industry'? I bet this would be a great job for some former child star, because they would be familiar with the gifts and also in all likelihood need a job. 

Also I have to say, I think that whole profit sharing thing at the end might actually mean kick-backs which I think if not illegal, may still be wrong.

Corporate Gifting/Celebrity Gifting

Marketing and Branding Company seeking individual with extensive experience in Corporate Gifting relating to the Entertainment Industry. Must have knowledge of gift giving by Studios, Production Companies and Celebrities.

Please send resume and qualifications 

Compensation: Salary Position. Possible profit sharing for individual with existing vendors and clientele.

September  2 - Now this would be a cool job. It would be fun, you could be like Billy Joel in the Piano Man song, except for all the depressing stuff of course. Plus you get fed and apparently the food is very good. Oh yeah, you do have to know how to play the piano.

Need a Pianist to Play Part-Time at Restaurant

Hi!

I am currently looking for someone who can play the piano from 11:30am to 1:30pm at a nice restaurant. Attire is business casual. Genre's range from Classical (nothing too crazy) to slow pop and maybe some jazz. This is a PERFECT part time job for students or just someone who wouldn't mind some extra money. You should be able to play for the full two hours and have enough material to last that long (so, about 25 - 30 pieces/songs) PLEASE email me ASAP!!! This is not an uptight job, however promptness is important! :)

Compensation: $30/shift + lunch (good food!!)

September 1 - The odd thing about this ad is that it's for a dog walker, but it says you have to like cats. I wonder if they walk cats too. I used to put my cat on a leash (with a harness) and take him to the park. One day this old man yelled at me for like 15 minutes before I could get away from him, because he was so angry that I had my cat on a leash. 

Dog Walker

A growing dog walking company is seeking dog and cat lovers for part-time work --- mid-day (11:00a - 3:00p)Monday through Friday. You must have your own reliable transportation and be familiar with the area. If you are looking for a fun work environment and flexible hours, please respond ASAP!

Back

Kickmeimdown Home